Kvish 90 Burger & Beer joint in Machanayim Junction, Israel
Gathering Around the Table: Conversations and Connections in Post-October 7th Israel
Rock beats scissors. Paper beats rock. Scissors beats paper. Disability beats?
Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Neither did we.
I met Tomer , a friend of mine, at the famous ‘Kvish90 burger & beer’ joint in Makhanayim junction, 30 mins from Mettula, the edge of Israel’s northern borde, The favorite gathering spot in the north, especially in recent months after all the time away from home.
we both were evicted from Mettula (my lovely and usually quiet home). he decided not to return to Metulla, and moved back to his home in Herzliya, a city in the central district. that’s a distance of two hours driving, so when we’re meeting, food must be involved!
After some mandatory catching-up we had, Tomer told me about his inspirational autobiography lecture he is working on, he wanted some pointers and feedback from me, a veteran disabled spokesman who also talks about himself a lot and ”inspires” people. His disability, unlike my congenital cerebral palsy, appeared suddenly at the age of 11. He had quite the journey rehabilitating himself and achieving a great many things even though his life was, in essence, got reset (he needed to relearn how to walk and talk, if you speak to him now you won’t be able to tell that something happend, it is that impressive) and right arm is paralyzed.
one of his many impressive achievements includes serving in a canine unit in the IDF. he was the trainer for the military dogs. Not only are they man’s best friend, they also got your back during operations. If you want the rest of the story you have to attend one of his lectures.
Ironically, he claims that my condition is actually more challenging than his, since he got to experience a lot of functional things like running, fine motor skills, and being active in sports. It was funny to hear that perspective, since from my perspective, his condition is much worse than mine! He had something that was abruptly lost, while all I know is my disability and everything I gained was a boon I never actually thought I would be able to experience.
So we have two disabled people arguing that the other’s disability is more complex and challenging,
The irony hasn’t peaked yet.
At a table next to us, sat an amusing couple in their 20s, talking about casual things such as who’s turn it is to buy the burgers, where to meet friends, and which friends to meet. so young, so energetic, so carefree.
They overheard our conversation and were deeply moved from Tomer’s inspirational life story. We talked with them some more. How did they meet? Are they planning any vacations for the coming holiday? Is it accessible? Can I join? (I can’t help it, when I hear ‘vacation’ I want to be a part of it), They needed to clear their minds a little bit. …
They survived October 7 Nova party
You could never guess it in a million years, it’s not like an obvious shell-shocked Vietnam vet depicted in the movies.
It was mentioned so casually that we both nearly missed it!
They were there, they saw gruesome sights.
“That was hard” the boyfriend noted “but I would rather go through it again and again, than to deal with your challenges.”
“I want to hear your full lecture” said the girlfriend to Tomer, “it is so moving and interesting!”
Now the irony peaked and our jaws dropped to the floor. It’s official. Disability is perceived as a worse ordeal than surviving October.
The couple was about to leave when we still waited for our dessert. me and Tomer started to argue who should cover the couple’s meal. He tried first, and they refused, saying that they should cover our bill. Now we refused.
there’s a burning desire to do something and give back somehow, whatever it is food for soldiers or a burger for a couple who survived the darkest day in Israel’s history.
I tried to insist to let me cover some of their bill, because their stories are more inspiring than ours. They refused again.
Even when I tried to invoke the emotional nuke – why would you deny from ol’ disabled ME a chance to do good? – Was met with adamant refusal.
I took her advice, and bought some great alcohol for Independence Day. No doubt it will feel extra special this year.